You may not be able to see it now, and that's okay. It's not only okay for you to let yourself feel the pain, it's an important part of the grieving process. You will find that with time, this will get easier, and you will become stronger. What you choose to do with that time will have a big impact on how long it takes you to recover. So don't be afraid to reach out. You may feel all alone, but I am here to show you that you are not.  

My name is Ella and I am the wife of a sex addict. I am also a Licensed Professional Counselor and Certified Clinical Sexual Addiction Specialist. In the months following the discovery of my husband's addiction, I felt everything I described above and more. My emotions were all over the place. Panic, fear, loneliness, hopelessness, confusion, anger, inadequacy, depression, and helplessness are just a few words to describe the emotions that were swirling around inside me. I was more forgetful than usual, had trouble concentrating, and couldn't stop the vivid thoughts.

As someone who has gone before you, I want to guide you in the right direction so you can start, or re-start, your healing journey moving forward.

To help you feel less overwhelmed, below I offer some helpful first steps (click on each to learn more):

  1. Read this article, which applies to ALL forms of sexual addiction, to get a basic understanding of how to help yourself heal

  2. Read this article, which also applies to ALL forms of sexual addiction, to get some of your questions answered right away.

  3. Schedule an appointment with a therapist or life coach

  4. Guidance for finding a counselor

  5. Join a support group

  6. Get help for your marriage

  7. Set boundaries

 

APSATS Training

Counselors and life coaches interested in obtaining APSATS certification for the specialization of helping partners of sex addicts from a Trauma Model approach, register now for our next partner trauma training session. Ella served on the Board of APSATS for three years and encourages those interested in this training to learn more about how you can provide better treatment for partners of sex addicts.

Also, if your relationship has been affected by sex addiction, be sure to tell your therapist about this training!

 
 

IF YOUR MARRIAGE HAS BEEN AFFECTED BY SEX ADDICTION,
WE WANT TO HELP. 

 
 

LEARN MORE ABOUT OUR THREE-DAY INTENSIVES

Jeff and Ella Hutchinson will dedicate three days to helping you find healing and hope after the devastation sex addiction has brought to your marriage. Each intensive is different, based on your unique needs. Some of the issues addressed include understanding sex addiction and why he did what he did, understanding the trauma the spouse has suffered due to the addiction, helping the addict learn how to offer his wife the support she needs, recovery tools for the addict, finding healing for the spouse, finding healing for the marriage, and learning how to start rebuilding trust.