You may not be able to see it now, and that's okay. It's not only okay for you to let yourself feel the pain, it's an important part of the grieving process. You will find that with time, this will get easier, and you will become stronger. What you choose to do with that time will have a big impact on how long it takes you to recover. So don't be afraid to reach out. You may feel all alone, but I am here to show you that you are not.
My name is Ella and I am the wife of a sex addict. I am also a Licensed Professional Counselor, Certified Clinical Sexual Addiction Specialist, and a Certified Clinical Partner Specialist through the Association for Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists (APSATS). In the months following the discovery of my husband's addiction in 2008, I felt everything I described above and more. My emotions were all over the place. Panic, fear, loneliness, hopelessness, confusion, anger, inadequacy, depression, and helplessness are just a few words to describe the emotions that were swirling around inside me. I was more forgetful than usual, had trouble concentrating, and couldn't stop the vivid, intrusive thoughts.
As someone who has gone before you, I want to guide you in the right direction so you can start, or re-start, your healing journey moving forward.
To help you feel less overwhelmed, below I offer some helpful first steps (click on each to learn more):
Read this article, which applies to ALL forms of sexual addiction, to get a basic understanding of how to help yourself heal
Read this article, which also applies to ALL forms of sexual addiction, to get some of your questions answered right away.